By Eric Sprague C & R Magazine 11/25/2025
If you lead a team in the trades long enough, you eventually hit the same wall every owner does:
How do I show real compassion for my people without turning into a pushover— and still hold them accountable so the business actually wins?
Most owners never answer that question. They default to their comfort zone. They either go old-school hard—yelling, demanding, pushing—or they get overly soft, tiptoeing around everything because they’re afraid someone will quit.
Both approaches backfire. In today’s environment—with stressed-out employees, younger workers who grew up differently than we did, and more emotional complexity than ever—neither extreme works.
The leaders who win today master a different skill:
Compassion and accountability, at the same time.
Not one or the other. Not switching back and forth depending on the crisis of the week. Both, woven together. Every day.
When you get that balance right, everything changes. Your culture improves. Your retention improves. Your performance improves. And—just as important—you improve as a leader and as a human being.
Why Toughness Alone Doesn’t Work Anymore
I’m a Gen X guy. I grew up in the era of hard coaching, tough bosses, and “because I said so.” It shaped me. It made me gritty.
But let’s tell the truth: that old-school yelling never made anybody better. It made people scared. It made people compliant. It made people quiet. It made people quit.
And the younger workforce today—especially Gen Z—doesn’t respond to command- and-control. You can call it weakness if you want, but that’s lazy thinking. The world they grew up in is not the world we grew up in. They’ve had more anxiety, more noise, more social pressure, and less hands-on experience than any generation before them.
They’re not weaker. They’re different.
And “different” requires different leadership.
The funny part?
For all the talk about Gen Z “not wanting to work,” the truth is that they crave something we never got: coaching. Structure. Someone who gives a damn.
They want compassion. And they want standards.
They just need a leader who can deliver both.
Compassion Isn’t Soft. It’s Coaching.
A lot of owners hear the word “compassion” and think, “I’m not here to babysit.” Good. You shouldn’t babysit.
But compassion isn’t letting people off the hook. Compassion is saying:
“I’m on your side—and because I’m on your side, I’m not going to let you stay stuck.”
It’s being human first, leader second. Compassion looks like:
- Listening before you judge.
- Understanding the situation before dumping consequences on someone.
- Giving people real tools to improve before demanding results.
- Remembering that every employee has a life outside the shop. Compassion by itself creates a nice culture with low performance.
Accountability by itself creates fear with short-term results and long-term turnover. You need both.
Accountability Isn’t Harsh. It’s Clear.
We think accountability means being tough. It doesn’t. Accountability is really just clarity.
It’s you saying:
“Here’s the standard. Here’s where you’re at. Here’s how I’m going to help you close the gap.”
That’s it.
Most employees aren’t trying to screw up your business. They simply don’t know what “great” looks like, or they don’t know what you expect, or they’re afraid to ask for help.
When accountability is clear, specific, and tied to the employee’s own goals, it doesn’t feel like punishment. It feels like coaching. It feels like belief.
This is something we teach every day at Super Tech University: Coach the human. Train the skill. Hold the line.
You do those three things consistently and your team will respond.
What Compassion + Accountability Looks Like in Real Life
Over the years—running restoration crews, managing technicians, coaching companies
—I’ve developed a simple four-step rhythm. This is the backbone of compassionate accountability.
- Listen first.
Start tough conversations with curiosity. Ask what’s going on. Ask for their version of the story. Ask how things are outside of work. When people feel safe, they tell the truth. And truth gives you something to coach.
- Re-clarify the standard.
Don’t assume people know what “good” looks like. Spell it out every time. Most underperformance comes from misalignment, not rebellion.
- Coach the gap.
Coaching is specific. It’s behavioral. It’s actionable. It sounds like:
“You missed three callbacks this month. Let’s talk about where those fell through and how to tighten them up.”
That’s leadership. That’s compassion in action.
- Stick to the consequence.
This is where most leaders fall apart. They let compassion cloud the standard. You can care about someone’s situation and still hold the line. Consistency is what creates trust. Without consequences, your best people suffer while your weakest people set the pace.
When you apply these four steps, you stay human and you stay strong.
How to Be Compassionate Without Becoming a Doormat
Here are a few simple practices I use myself and teach to the companies we coach.
Start with: “I’m on your side.”
This removes defensiveness instantly. It keeps the conversation collaborative instead of adversarial.
Ask these three questions:
- What’s going on?
- What’s your plan to fix it?
- How can I support you?
Those three questions turn every conversation into a growth conversation.
Focus on behaviors, not character.
“You’re sloppy” kills trust.
“You were late three times this week” creates clarity.
Hold strong boundaries with empathy.
Say this line:
“I will support you, but I’m not lowering the standard.”
It’s honest, respectful, and powerful.
Train daily so accountability doesn’t feel like punishment.
If you’re training your team every day—even just a few minutes—accountability becomes normal. It becomes part of how the company operates. It becomes expected instead of dreaded.
We see this across the hundreds of home-service companies using our daily videos at STU. When you reinforce soft skills, mindset, client service, and communication every day, your accountability conversations become easier and less emotional.
Why This Matters Beyond the Business
Here’s something I’ve learned after coaching owners for years:
The way you lead your team usually mirrors the way you lead yourself.
If you’re too hard on employees, you’re likely too hard on yourself. If you let your people slide, you probably let yourself slide too.
If you avoid tough conversations, you probably avoid them at home.
Compassion strengthens your emotional leadership. Accountability strengthens your operational leadership.
Together, they make you a more complete human being. A better leader.
A better spouse.
A better parent.
A better business owner.
This isn’t just about performance. It’s about who you’re becoming.
The Future of Leadership in the Trades
The leaders who will win the next decade in home services won’t be the hardest or the nicest.
They’ll be the ones who can say two things clearly:
- “I care about you as a human.”
- “I expect you to perform at a high level.”
Compassion makes you approachable. Accountability makes you credible.
Together, they make you unstoppable.
Your employees don’t need you to be their friend. They don’t need you to be a drill sergeant.
They need a guide.
A coach.
A leader who helps them win—at work and in life.
Show compassion.
Hold the line.
Do both consistently.
That’s the formula that builds high-performing teams, healthy cultures, loyal people, and companies that actually scale.
And it builds something else too: a life you’re proud of.